


another soul to keep us warm

by greywardenblue



Category: October Daye Series - Seanan McGuire
Genre: F/M, Fictober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23170348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greywardenblue/pseuds/greywardenblue
Summary: An entire year passes between Connor's death and Etienne's confession about his daughter. For October, most of that year is a dark haze of depression, but there are some bright moments.Of course, this isn't the first time Tybalt walks October home in the middle of the night.
Relationships: October "Toby" Daye/Tybalt
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts appearing in this work:  
> "Can you stay?"  
> "You keep me warm."  
> "Can you wait for me?"  
> "You could talk about it, you know."

“We have to stop meeting like this.”

Toby looked up at him and frowned, one of her shoes in her hands. “The heel broke,” she said, in case he hadn’t noticed.

Tybalt nodded and leaned closer, turning her face towards himself with one hand to examine the scratches. “And I see I hadn’t found you before you got into a fight with the pixies this time.”

She pulled her face away. “I had a fight with Julie. She was being a bitch.”

Tybalt suddenly felt twenty years younger, but not in a good way. He sighed. “Funnily enough, she said the same about you. Is pissing off people with sharper claws than yours a hobby you think is worth pursuing?”

Toby snorted. She kept trying to reattach the heel to the shoe, as if it would magically stick if she did it enough times. It might have worked, if she had been using actual magic. Tybalt sat down next to her.

“Cait Sidhe aren’t unbeatable. I beat Julie’s ass enough times when we were both with Devin. There was a reason I was one of the best.”

“I see.” Tybalt considered his answer carefully. It might have been foolish to piss of a Cait Sidhe, but it was also foolish to piss of a drunk woman who could easily stab you with a high-heel. “And you think that is the person you want to be?” The heel would not magically stick to the shoe, and Tybalt could see her getting more and more frustrated with the trying. He reached out to put a hand on hers.

“Who else am I supposed to be?” Toby whimpered, the tears gathering in her eyes. “I lost my daughter. I lost my boyfriend. Every time I think I have a family, I keep losing them. So who am I supposed to be, other than Devin’s stupid toy, one changeling face in a gang? At least that’s something I was good at. It was something I knew how to be, but now even Devin is dead.”

Tybalt struggled to find a kind way to tell her how little sense she was making. “You haven’t lost your daughter,” he said quietly. She opened her mouth to reply, and Tybalt covered it with a hand. He scoffed when she bit it, fully expecting the reaction. “It feels like you lost her, but she is still alive. Do you understand? As long as she is alive, you two have a chance.”

“She’s a human now,” Toby whispered. “She can never be part of Faerie.”

Tybalt wiped the tears gently off her face. “Maybe. But some humans know about Faerie, and a girl who was born with the blood and had a mother at least for a few years should be more receptive than one who didn’t. Things are bleak now. That doesn’t mean they will stay that way. We go on, October. We find new people to love. They don’t replace the ones we lost, but they keep us going.” Toby sniffed quietly and didn’t say anything. Tybalt sighed, then picked her up in his arms cautiously. “Come on. I’m taking you home.”

–

This time Tybalt put her down in front of the door, and when she struggled to find the keyhole in the dark he only turned on the porch light instead of saying anything. May appeared in the kitchen door when they stepped in - she stared at Toby with the bloody scratches on her face and the broken heel, took one look at Tybalt, then turned around and shut the door behind her. 

Toby stood in the hallway and stared at the closed door. “She must be really mad at me,” she said in a small voice.

Tybalt sighed. “After you went out and got into a drunken brawl with one of your friends and acted like you had nobody left in the world? I can’t imagine why she’d be mad at you.” She looked so miserable that he took pity on her. “Come on. I’ll help you upstairs.”

Toby shook her head. “No, I think I’m just… I’m going to wash my face.”

Tybalt lingered behind her as she walked to the bathroom and opened the water. She washed the blood off and drank from her hands, then wiped her mouth with her hand as well and stared in the bathroom mirror. He was about to say his goodbyes and leave when she spoke.

“Can you stay?”

That was unexpected, but he would not miss the chance.

“I can.”

Toby nodded quietly then walked out of the bathroom, walking past him barefoot without meeting his eyes. He followed her to the living room, where she sat down on the couch. Her jacket- _his_ jacket- the jacket was lying on the back of the couch and Toby pulled it over herself like a blanket.

“Could you read for me?”

That was another surprising request, but he nodded and examined the bookshelf, smiling to himself at the amount of Shakespeare. The stage plays didn’t make for quiet evening reading, but perhaps some of the sonnets would if he chose them right. Not that he needed a book for most of them, but it was always nice to hold one in his hands.

When he settled on the couch Toby leaned against his side and closed her eyes, the jacket still covering her. After a few minutes he thought she might be asleep at his voice, but when May walked in, put three full glasses on the table and walked out without a word, Toby leaned forward to take one and sipped it quietly as he read.

_We go on. We find new people to love. They keep us going._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halfway through the year of darkness, Toby's birthday arrives.

_October, 2011_

\--

Julie didn’t say anything, not even hi. She simply walked over to where Toby was sitting with Stacy and flopped down between them, her torso leaning against Toby, her legs in Stacy’s lap.

“Hi,” Toby said. Julie grunted in response, and Stacy laughed. Toby smiled to herself and glanced towards where Danny was chatting with Kerry, and May and Tybalt were cooperating on a dance neither of them seemed to fully remember. She couldn’t see them yet, but soon Raj and Quentin would be back with even more snacks, since May vastly underestimated how much they would need.

There was an absence, the nagging thought that if this party happened this time last year, Connor would be here. It was a heartbreaking thought, and it wasn’t even true: this time last year, there was no party because Toby was deep in Blind Michael’s lands, waiting for somebody to save her for once.

And they did, several times. Her friends came through for her. Why was that so hard to remember nowadays? It’s like every time they left her line of sight, her brain forgot they loved her.

“Isn’t that a little weird?” Stacy asked.

Toby blinked. “Sorry, what? I zoned out a little.”

“No, you were looking in the right direction.” Stacy nodded towards May and Tybalt. “Isn’t that a little like seeing yourself dancing with Tybalt?”

Toby looked again. May’s hair was two different colors, and Tybalt and her were both laughing. It wasn’t a romantic kind of tension, but the two of them were clearly friends, and they were willing to show that without any games or tricks. That still stung a little.

“Uh, no? May’s face might look like mine, but even without the hair, nobody who spends more than ten seconds around us would mix us up.”

Not when May was laughing so nicely with her friends and girlfriend, and Toby was miserable and alone. Again.

A small voice in the back of her mind protested and told her that wasn’t true: May was grieving too, but in her misery, she only noticed the other’s happy moments. It was difficult to hear that voice, and it was even more difficult to believe it.

“I agree,” Stacy said, reminding Toby that she was still there. “I was just curious what you thought about it.” Toby realized that her hand was absentmindedly caressing Julie’s hair, who leaned into her touch and purred. That was new; or rather, it was old. It was how they used to be, before the pond, before Julie got so angry at the world for taking Ross away.

“Stacy’s right,” Julie said suddenly. “It’s super weird. Remember how you used to call him King Jerkface, and say that he’d bake a cake if you died? And now he’s at your birthday party.”

Toby rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t argue. She had realized by now that Tybalt had always been there, quietly holding her up even while his words prickled her skin like thorns, but the realization came very recently. Nowadays, she felt like it came too late.

Jazz walked towards them from the direction of the house. “Hey everyone,” she said, then looked down at Julie. “I’m sorry... can you move for a second?” Julie stared back at her without blinking, unimpressed. “I need Toby to stand up,” Jazz tried again, a little uncomfortable, as any bird would be if a cat gave her that look.

“Your mistake was trying to get a cat to move,” Toby said.

Stacy sighed and grabbed Julie to pull her off Toby, despite the hissing and threats that followed immediately. As soon as Toby was free, Jazz grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet and towards May and Tybalt. Toby was too surprised to argue.

“Tybalt!” Jazz stopped walking, and Toby stood a step behind her, avoiding looking at the pair. “I propose a trade. I get my girlfriend, you get the birthday girl.”

Toby immediately sobered up. “Hey! I didn’t consent to being sold!”

Tybalt smirked. “I don’t see how this is a fair trade.”

But May was already walking off with Jazz, laughing, and no matter how Toby glared at the comment, Tybalt reached for her hands to pull her in.

“I can’t dance,” she blurted.

“That’s okay. Neither can May.”

“I thought you’d been dancing?”

Tybalt rolled his eyes. “We were, but she was trying to do three completely different dance styles at once and wouldn’t settle for any one.”

Toby let out a giggle, and then immediately felt embarrassed about it. She wasn’t quite drunk, but it was close.

And that was fine. This time, she wouldn’t have Tybalt carry her home after stumbling along the dark streets alone. This time, she was with friends, and already home.

Their bodies didn’t quite press together, but Tybalt’s hand stayed on her waist as he guided her into a slower dance, and she followed instinctively. It wasn’t anything complicated, and she was thankful for that. This way, she could just breathe in his scent, and enjoy the lightness she hadn’t felt in months.

“So, Julie showed up,” Tybalt said.

Toby nodded. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure she’d come... I thought she was still pissed at me.”

Tybalt gently pressed her side with one hand until she turned. “She was never mad at you. She was mad at the world, and sometimes when we’re mad at the world for losing someone we loved, we lash out at everything around us.”

“You sound very wise about that.”

“I... may have done it before.” Tybalt shook his head. “Cait Sidhe parents rarely teach you how to handle your emotions without lashing out. It is one of our weaknesses. Perhaps it’s also why the Divided Courts call us beasts.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, they say that about us changelings too.”

Tybalt flinched. “I know that.”

“Really? I didn’t always notice.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Toby sighed. “Nothing... nothing.” Tybalt didn’t press, but after a while, she continued anyway. “I used to be really mad at you, for acting like it’s so bad for you and how all of the Divided Courts are horrible, when in fact it’s just... the rich people in the Divided Courts pushing the rest of us out. I always thought that you thought you were so much better than us.”

Tybalt was quiet for a moment. “I noticed you used past tense there.”

Toby turned her head away to hide her blush. “I might have a slightly more positive opinion of you now.”

“Oh?” Tybalt leaned forward without warning, and Toby could swear his lips brushed her ears for a moment. “That is very kind of you to say.” He pulled back. “I assure you, I don’t find you as annoying as I used to either.”

That earned him both a laugh and a punch in the shoulder, but he didn’t seem to mind. It balanced out.

“You’re freezing,” he said quietly.

“You keep me warm,” she replied without thinking. There was a beat. Two beats. Her words slowly caught up to her. “I mean,” she started. “The jacket. I meant the... That I got it from you, because...”

Tybalt stopped their dance and wordlessly slid his jacket - his own jacket, not the one he had given to Toby - off his shoulders and wrapped it around hers, pulling her closer in the process.

“This one is strictly a loan,” he said, a smile in the corner of his lips. “I have to wear something, too.”

Toby closed her eyes and breathed in Tybalt’s scent all around her, reveled in the warmth of his hands on her waist.

Then she remembered Connor, and the wave of guilt crashed over her like ice cold water. She stumbled back suddenly, and Tybalt caught her to stop her from tripping over her own feet. Of course he did.

“Did I do something...” He looked genuinely uncertain.

“No,” Toby said quickly. “No, I’m just not...” Her heart beat fast, and she felt tears in her eyes again. She was supposed to enjoy tonight. She was supposed to be okay. Why couldn’t she just be okay? “...Can you wait for me?” She didn’t dare specify. She said it so quietly, she half-hoped Tybalt wouldn’t hear.

He fixed the collar of his jacket on her and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. “For as long as you need.” He leaned down again, his lips brushing against her cheek, then he stepped back. “Happy birthday, Toby.” And then he walked off towards Raj, who was just arriving back with Quentin.

\--

Tybalt said goodbye and stepped into the shadows, and Toby walked back to the rest of her friends. Stacy, Mitch and Danny had gone home an hour ago, so May was talking to Kerry, and Quentin and Raj seemed to be fighting over something - she couldn’t make out what, but there was a lot of jumping and tackling each other involved. 

Julie was watching the boys, and Toby stood next to her. “Is Raj dating Quentin now?” she wondered out loud.

“I don’t know. Are you dating my uncle?” Julie asked flatly.

Toby’s eyes widened. “What? Why would I be dating your uncle?”

Julie was looking at her without blinking. Toby hated when she did that. “You were dancing with him just now.”

“So was May.”

“May wasn’t slow-dancing. Or looking at him with heart eyes. Or wearing his jacket.”

Toby flushed red, pulling the jacket tighter around herself. Tybalt said this one was strictly a loan, but he didn’t ask for it back before he left. Toby knew he would be back for it. He would be back, period.

“You know I don’t like him that way.”

“Do I? Because I remember the two of us shittalking him when we were kids, but that’s not how you feel anymore, do you?”

Toby turned her head away. “You never _said_ he was actually a good person. Or that he liked Shakespeare.”

Julie laughed. “You’re telling me you didn’t know my uncle liked Shakespeare? Did you hear his _name_?”

“I did! But I met your uncle before I read Shakespeare, so when I got to Romeo and Juliet I didn’t think ‘oh, maybe Tybalt was named after Tybalt Capulet’, I thought, ‘oh, this jerk has the same name as Julie’s asshole uncle, now I can’t unsee it’.” Toby crossed her arms and glared. “Do you have a problem?”

“A problem?” Julie hissed. “A _problem_? My _problem_ is that… I don’t know what my problem is. You’re both acting like idiots about this. You could just… You could talk about it, you know? To each other. So I don’t have to be the one who has to spell this out.”

“Spell what out?” Toby asked, stubborn.

Julie stared at her. “Oberon’s balls, Toby. We’ve been friends for how long? I know you’re not a stupid person, but you can be stupid as dirt sometimes.” She pushed her fingers into her hair, clearly frustrated. “The way he was a mess when you were kidnapped, or when you were in prison, or when you were lying sick with iron poisoning. Our Court was dying, and he was worried about _you_.”

“He was worried about you, too. He mourned his people. You can’t say he didn’t.”

Julie scoffed. “I didn’t say he didn’t. I’m just saying…” She turned her head away. “I’m just saying, some people think none of that would have happened if he’d been paying less attention to you.”

Toby frowned. “What do you mean?”

Julie didn’t answer at first - she watched Raj turn into a cat and jump on Quentin’s back, who was trying to turn around and get him off. Finally she sighed and stepped back, signaling to Toby to follow her a little further away. “My uncle and Raj’s father are butting heads a lot more since Raj’s mother died. I trust my uncle can handle it, but with Raj stuck in the middle, I’m still a little wary. If I was him, I would have beat Samson half to death already to teach him who’s in charge, but he doesn’t want to escalate things or whatever.”

“That sounds like a reasonable stance,” Toby said.

“We’re Cait Sidhe, Toby. We don’t do reasonable. That’s Samson’s whole problem, and I’m afraid of what will happen if more of these idiots decide they agree with him.”

The frown on Toby’s face deepened. “If you have concerns, shouldn’t you be talking to Tybalt about this?”

Julie laughed bitterly. “Guess what? I have been. But after how I acted for months after…” She trailed off, but she didn’t need to finish the sentence. “He doesn’t exactly see me as a reliable advisor right now. I guess that’s partly my fault, but that doesn’t make things better.”

Toby listened quietly, and her heart broke when Julie’s shoulders slumped. “You could talk about it, you know?” she echoed her friend. “If you feel like he doesn’t trust you, you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”

Julie stared at her like she was a lunatic. “Wow. I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t think you were that much of a hypocrite.” She tensed suddenly, looking at a point behind Toby, and as Toby breathed in, she felt the smell of Raj’s magic as he turned back into her two-legged form.

“Has Uncle left already?” he asked, not giving any sign that he heard their talk.

“He did,” Toby said. She gripped the jacket and wondered if she should take it off and gave it to Raj to gave back to Tybalt, but she decided against it. He’ll pick it up if he wants to.

Raj nodded, then turned to Julie. “Shall we go?”

Julie nodded back. “Yeah. I already ate all the cake I wanted anyway.” She gave Toby a clumsy one-armed hug, but that was more than she expected. “Happy birthday or whatever.”

Raj hugged her properly and Toby held him close, then went to say goodbye to Kerry. Jazz must have gone to sleep already, and with the dawn coming, the rest of them would be heading there soon too. She was a year older, and life went on, one day at a time.


End file.
